They left the tower and walked this trail and that, pretending to still explore the gardens, but her lover noticed how she no longer lingered at novel plants and that she always led him northward. She tried to cover her new preoccupation, a valiant, losing effort. She couldn't keep her attention on what she was saying, and she started to lose her sentences half way through.The man found the boys first. They were off to the left, hand-in-hand, walking a path between hedges, looking around to see if other people were anywhere nearby. It was obvious what they wanted to do. He whispered, "There they are, love" in a tone that let her know he knew she was hunting. That brought her up short. She blushed exquisitely and turned away, taking a red that was brighter than the windburn on her cheeks.After a moment: "Was I that transparent?" You were that transparent." Oh God." Then, "Oh God," again.She looked around to him shyly, shy for the first time since they had broken their vows a month. I ran away from my destiny, I ran away from who I am and who I was suppose to be. I did not realize that until later, until it was to late! I go over in my head what I should have done andsome days wishI could go back in time and change the past, but whats done is done. Some things happen for a reason.I am married now, with a little boy. I married into the "nilla" life. I am happy, but will never fully be who I am suppose to be. It is hard to explain. I love my life, but there is always going to be something missing. That emptiness that no one and nothing can fill. All I have is my thoughts and memories and so far they are holding me up pretty well. I found a wonderful site called Lush and became a member. They help me through the tough times, when I don't think I can hold on. They give me a chance to share my experiences and my problems and guide me along the way. They never criticize me for who I was and who I am now, they are as close as I can get to the real thing. I have made a.
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